Blog 1: Debbie Does Diaries again!

Dear Diary,

As you know, writing has always brought me a sense of peace, even as a young child. Something about putting pen to paper, has always made me feel at home. I remember being ten years old and getting a typewriter for Christmas from my parents. OMG! Ink to paper? Joy! A few years ago, I decided to start sharing my thoughts with the world, through my Debbie Does Diaries Blog. I wrote about my travels to places like "down unda," my yoga journey, my dating life and my stand-up comedy experience, all in a self-discovery kind of way. What I discovered was my passion to connect with others and that it was okay to be vulnerable in sharing personal stories, even when it felt "uncomfortable." If people could resonate, reflect and of course, laugh along the way, I was happy!

As I start this new adventure in the "Debbie Does Diaries" journey, I have no idea where it will take me and I'm okay with that. Maybe I will write about yoga. Maybe I will write about online dating (yes, still)! Maybe I will write about being a 40 year old single woman and what self-isolation looks like. Maybe I will write about nutrition and my weight-loss journey (but also about my struggles with self-doubt, past nicotine addiction and binge drinking). Maybe I will write about how I used NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to dig deep into where my values and beliefs stem from and how I've learned to change the inner dialogue to create outer change. All I know is that the mind and human behaviour fascinate me, and I know personally that change is possible, so I'm sure these topics will come up!

My intention is to observe, to express my thoughts and to be kinder to myself. I've learned over the years that I'm pretty hard on myself (as many people are) and even though I recognize that I'm pretty awesome, (just sayin') I still have lots to learn! This became very evident to me through my stand-up comedy experience, believe it or not! Standing up (literally) in front of strangers, with my own raw material was scary. Even though I did pretty well, I "nit-picked" at some of my jokes, after seeing myself on video. There was this one time (at band camp) when I tried out a new joke (that I literally came up with the morning of the show) and it didn't quite go the way I had intended. I know right, "Boo hoo, Deb!" Even though I got laughs and good feedback afterwards, I was still disappointed. I snapped out of it the next day though and reminded myself that I was brave and funny and even if I totally bombed, would it be the end of the world? Not at all! I don't long to be a stand-up comedian (no offence to all of the amazing full-time comics I've met along the way)! This was simply a bucket list goal that I always had in the back of my mind, that I wanted to bring forward; that's all.

What did I learn? I have pretty big balls. I'm a good story teller and joke writer. Period. Also, I'm surrounded by an awesome group of family and friends who came out to support me on numerous occasions. This includes my old-school Portuguese mother, who sat there proudly, cheering me on, while I discussed dick pics, assholes and hairy balls. Talk about unconditional love!

Having things in my life, such as yoga, meditation, mindfulness, a sense of humour, gratitude and daily affirmations (my new favourite thing), I trust in this process. I see "coincidences" and "signs" everywhere and seem to attract more and more people into my life that teach me things that I may not have learned on my own. I'm not quite sure how often I will post this blog to the world, but I'll let the universe guide me. I'm not going to set unrealistic expectations for myself like I did last time, then be disappointed if I "fail." But already, as I sit here writing, I'm feeling inspired to share more; like maybe next week or tomorrow. Until then, Diary, thank you for always being there for me.

YogaDebb